- Matt Allyn
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- 8 Steps to Boldly Create Exactly What I Want
8 Steps to Boldly Create Exactly What I Want
ohhhhh the deep deep desire to write something profound is weighing on me.
The more people tell me they love my newsletter, the more pressure I put on myself each week to write something profound.
The problem with being profound—or trying to be—is a central lack of truth and authenticity.
I am wanting to uncover a new concept that I, honestly, haven’t fully thought out or actualized in my life just to impress you.
Hard. Stop.
Not only do I not have a story to tell (since I haven’t done it), but that’s a straight up integrity issue. It’s like telling you the steps to build a million dollar business when I have never done so myself.
To top it all of, it’s draining as all hell.
Hard pass on doing work that is draining.
So let’s try this…
Here’s a hard truth about me and the way I see life.
If I’m too afraid to take action then I’ll always be stuck in the EXACT same spot in ALL AREAS of life.
I am deathly afraid afraid of the cliche, “people on their death bed regret the things they didn’t do, not the things they did do.”
If I get to the end of my life, which could be tomorrow for all I know, do I really want to sit there and think, “fuck… I wish I rode my bike across America”
Yikes.
I’d probably still be in NYC even more sad about my life and lack of purpose.
That is FAR SCARIER than pursuing the things I desire and “failing” and looking like an idiot.
I don’t even know if I will fail. I may fucking crush it.
That’s actually not what failing is. Failing isn’t falling short of a goal. The ONLY way to fail is to never actually try in the first place. That is the ONLY kind of failure. Knowing I want something and doing nothing about it.
“Looking like an idiot” isn’t a truth either. I just make up stories that people will perceive me as stupid (in an effort to keep me safe from taking action) when in reality they probably wish they had the courage to go after their dreams as boldly as I did. Anyone who wants to shame me for pursuing my dreams isn’t someone I care to have in my life.
Even all this talk about thinking about what others think… who fucking cares what people think about me? If all those people I worry about were gone… what would I do? That’s what I should be doing.
These are reasons why I have…
…rode my bike across America
…quit engineering and leave NYC to become a personal trainer in Colorado without a job lined up
…pursue becoming the world’s best CrossFit photographer
…unapologetically became a branding coach when Covid hit
…run an 40 mile ultra marathon on a whim
…and many smaller bold moments in between.
Yet here I sit at my desk chair writing about being a person who doesn’t want to live a life of regrets but not going for what I truly want out of life.
I’m working too much.
I am living conditionally.
“When this happens, then I will do that.”
What the fuck am I waiting for?
I’m here to take bold action into becoming exactly who I want to be now.
Two common fears are coming up
What if I choose the wrong thing?
What will it mean about me if I fail?
I deeply value being perceived by others as great. It actually doesn’t help to say what I said above. “Who cares about what other people think and looking stupid.”
I. DO.
So how have boldly taken action in the past?
What if choosing anything means that I trust myself enough to make bold decisions and take action to get exactly what I want out of this one life?
Life isn’t about making the “right” decisions.
Life is about (1) practicing courage to trust myself to make my OWN decisions and to boldly commit to taking the next action step. (2) Giving myself the freedom to be wrong about that decision and not shame myself if it didn’t create the results I wanted.
Shame makes trusting myself harder and harder each time I try to do it. Instead, when I give myself grace, I acknowledge that (1) I did it! I trusted myself. That’s the win! (2) By taking action I am even more clear on what I don’t want, which means I am that much closer to finding what I do want. So… What do I want to do next?!
That’s the infinite upward spiral of Growth baby.
Get clear on what you want (tangible & energetic results (how you want to feel))
Create safety and trust in yourself to go for it.
Take action.
Create awareness on the next block (a block is usually something your avoiding in the process)
Create safety and trust in yourself to lean into what you’re avoiding with love and creativity.
Adjust and take action.
Analyze the tangible and energetic results (was the process was energizing or depleting)
Celebrate whatever happens. Double down on what worked and give yourself to freedom to celebrate having clarity know what didn’t work.
Back to step 1
Try this with your content creation process.
Step 1 is critical. What do you really want. Not what you’ve been doing if what you’ve been doing has been draining. Not what you’ve been told to do. Not what everyone else is doing. What do YOU want?
[How about that. When I let go of the pressure to come up with something and instead lean into my truth, beautiful ideas and frameworks flow effortlessly.]
Speaking Growth. My messaging membership is now open for enrollment until March 26th.
For $99/mo you will know exactly how to show up on social media with deep connection to yourself and with your audience. If you are looking for support in the process above, that’s what we together. Gain clarity on what you really want and create safety to go for what want and see massive growth in ourselves, in our audience and in our business.
With love,
Matt